Today, I want to share with you a very special presentation that I've only given to a private group of individuals at my last Diamond Day event. In this post, we'll talk about how to overcome obstacles, challenges, pains, and meltdowns quickly, instead of running away and spending months under a weighted blanket.
Throughout this series, we've discussed a range of topics, from overcoming procrastination to feeling confident when trying something new. Today, we're going to delve into the principle of legacy and how it ties into achieving clarity in both your personal and professional life.
I want to remind you that you are cut from a different cloth. You're participating in a mindset class on a Tuesday, which sets you apart from those who are not willing to put in the work. We all operate differently, but that's okay. The work we do in Mindset Mastery class is worth everything it takes.
By getting clear on your legacy and what you want it to be, you can leave the greatest impact on the world, just by being who you are, the fully expressed and actualized version of yourself. In this post, we'll go through some tactical action steps to help you achieve your legacy and leave a meaningful impact on the world. So let's dive in and learn how to go from breakdown to breakthrough.
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Bloom and Blossom: The Power of Authenticity and Vulnerability
June of 2022 was a defining moment for me. It was when I hosted my second event called Diamond Day Mastermind, and it was an experience unlike any other. I wore a sparkly bodysuit that some people criticized on social media, but I didn't care. It wasn't a stretch for me to wear it because it felt like the only thing that made sense.
But Diamond Day isn't just about my bodysuit or the superficial things. It's about bringing together incredible people in a safe and vulnerable container. We ask deep questions, acknowledge our dark sides, and explore our creepy corners. It's a place where we can be ourselves without judgment.
During this event, we also did some cool things, like going ATVing in the Arizona desert. It was a physical challenge that pushed us out of our comfort zones and brought us closer together as a group. And by all measures, it was one of the best events for entrepreneurs in the marketing space that has ever been.
The Art of Moving Through Meltdowns
Have you ever felt like you've accomplished something big and you feel pretty good about yourself, only to have a meltdown a few days later? Maybe you become short-tempered, burn bridges, or break commitments. It's normal to feel this way, and even Oprah Winfrey was told in the beginning of her career that she was too emotional.
In this talk, I want to help you move through your meltdowns authentically, powerfully, and quickly. Let's explore what was going on with me during my event. I extended an invitation for attendees to come back for my next event, but only two people took me up on it, despite many saying it was the best experience they had ever had. I felt like I gave it my all, invested a lot of money, time, and energy, but it wasn't enough.
Have you ever felt this way? Like you weren't enough, and it was easy for other people to get what they want, but not for you? These thoughts were running through my head. So how do you come out on the other side of this? Not just eventually, but faster and stronger?
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Here are some steps that can help you move through your meltdowns:
By following these steps, you can move through your meltdowns authentically, powerfully, and quickly. Remember, it's okay to have a meltdown, but it's essential to learn how to move through them in a healthy and productive way.
Two Powerful Tools: Your Mind and Heart
When we feel overwhelmed and stuck, it's easy to turn to Google to find quick solutions. However, in times like these, what we really need are our two most powerful tools: our mind and our heart. These tools, when used properly, can help us navigate through even the toughest of challenges.
The Conveyor Belt Exercise
One effective exercise that can help us manage our emotions is what I call the Conveyor Belt. In this exercise, we visualize our emotions as if they are on a conveyor belt, shifting our perspective so that we are above them. Instead of judging or rationalizing our way out of difficult emotions, we suspend judgment and accept the complexity behind them. This one shift in emotion management can change our lives forever.
Accepting Emotional Complexity
Accepting the complexity of our emotions is crucial, especially when we have conflicting feelings. For example, if we have a complicated relationship with a family member, such as a parent, we may have conflicting feelings of love and hate. Trying to resolve those feelings can be a waste of time and energy. Instead, we should accept the complexity of our emotional system and examine the utility behind our feelings. By doing so, we can liberate ourselves and find empathy and compassion for others.
While accepting the utility of our emotions is important, we must also reckon with the limitations they impose on us. If we operate under the belief that we are not enough, we may miss out on opportunities or suffer from low self-esteem. We can use our infinite capacity for new software, through language and math, to shift our perspective and find new solutions. By using different perspective shifts, we can reprogram our hardware and overcome our limiting beliefs.
When we feel overwhelmed, we should remember that our two most powerful tools are our mind and heart. By accepting the complexity of our emotions and examining the utility behind them, we can liberate ourselves and find new solutions. With the right tools and mindset, we can navigate through even the toughest challenges and come out stronger on the other side.
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The Etymology of the Word 'Worth': Turning Pressure into Diamonds
Have you ever wondered where the word 'worth' comes from? Well, it originates from the Latin word ver, Wortéyeti, which means to turn. The word 'worth' is derived from this Latin word and has come to mean the value of something. But what does turning have to do with worth? As it turns out, there are two interpretations of this meaning.
The first interpretation of 'turning' is to transmute what's handed to you into what you want. This means that worth comes from your ability to turn pressure, for example, into diamonds. It's about transforming something negative into something positive, something valuable.
The second interpretation is about physically and mentally turning your attention where it would be most useful. This means that when you are faced with a problem, you need to turn your attention to where it would be most beneficial. For example, when you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed, you can turn your attention to the horizon, zooming out your perspective and thinking longer-term. Doing this will give you poise, which is crucial in moments of pain, anger, or discord.
Exhibiting Poise in the Face of Challenges
It's easy to agree that poise is important when we're calm emotionally and our nervous system is not in overdrive. But how do we exhibit poise when we're in the midst of a meltdown? That's the real test. It's crucial to have the ability to practice poise when everything seems to be falling apart.
For example, during one of my Diamond Day events, I talked about the importance of poise. The next day, during my pitch, my slides broke, and the whole projection system failed. My first instinct was to walk off the stage. But I took a deep breath and reminded myself that this was the opportunity to exhibit poise. I admitted to the crowd that the slides were broken and used the opportunity to engage with the audience in a Q&A session. The point is that the universe will always test your commitment to your principles. And it's up to you to practice what you preach.
Thinking About Winning
In my community, we believe that "winners win." This means that winners think about winning, and thinking about winning is a choice. Instead of focusing on losing, we focus on winning, which enables us to think about our next winning move.
For example, when faced with a setback, it's essential to keep trying doors until one opens. Every door represents a potential solution. Even if one door only provides 1% of the solution, it's still progress. So, think about winning and try the next door. This process has helped me overcome many challenges, and it can help you too.
The process of dealing with setbacks is intentional, and it involves controlling your thoughts, emotions, identity, and actions. You can't control the situation, but you can control your reaction to it. So, next time you face a setback, remember to turn pressure into diamonds, exhibit poise, and focus on winning.
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The Importance of Legacy in Pursuing Your Dreams
Right after my event and when I was in the shit, sobbing, snotty upper lip. Here's what I saw the very next day. I saw Eden with her dad, playing with her dolls. She had set up a bunch of her dolls as if they were an audience, and she had that lead Barbie in her hand right there walking around as if she was on stage saying stuff, modeling what she saw me do in the conference room just a few days before. That moment filled me with pride and purpose.
Do I give a shit about two tickets sold? When I see that, when I see, oh my God, it's gonna feel so normal for her, for a woman to go ahead and do that, to speak on stage, to do what she wants, this is what I want my legacy to be. For it to feel so commonplace to her that she doesn't understand that it's special, that she just thinks that it's normal. It's a reminder of why I do what I do.
Working to upgrade your family's life requires no justification. It's weird that sometimes we end up trying to justify this. But it's always to people who would never come to mindset class on a Tuesday. When you're in the right places, you never have to justify it.
Another piece of pop mindset, don't tell anyone your goals, work in silence, people wouldn't understand. If you are in the environment where people would not understand and where people would shit on your goals, it's time to prioritize shifting your environment. Because for anybody here, when we hang out together, you tell us your goals, what are we gonna be like? "Hell yeah, go get it, ooh, maybe you could approach it this way". Encouragement, support. You never have to justify what you're working for here, but you have to be the ambassador, for everybody to get the message, even us, and that's what legacy means.
In the pursuit of your dreams, it's crucial to remember that you're not just doing it for yourself. You're doing it for your loved ones, your community, and for future generations. Your legacy is about creating a world where your dreams are achievable for others. Don't be afraid to be an ambassador for your own legacy. Let others know what you're striving for and why it's important to you. And when you find yourself in environments where people don't understand or support your goals, it's okay to move on and find a place where you can flourish. Your legacy is too important to let anyone hold you back. So keep pushing, keep striving, and never give up on your dreams.
The Etymology of Legacy: Being an Ambassador
Legacy can be a scary word because it implies permanence and the idea of leaving something behind. However, the etymology of legacy is to be an ambassador, and understanding this can help make the concept less daunting. To be an ambassador, you need to ask yourself: what do you want to represent, and who do you want to represent it to? This question provides the foundation for understanding your purpose and legacy. The work towards understanding your purpose and legacy is ongoing, and it is not a one-time event. The process is continuous, but it is essential to achieving your goals.
As you continue to work towards understanding your legacy, you become more and more meaningful and impactful, which gives you more control over yourself, the people you influence, and the industry you are in. It affects everything, from the content you create to the sales processes you employ. Having a clear North Star for what you want to represent and who you want to represent it to is crucial for success. It is what sets you apart from your competitors.
Achieving your goals requires ongoing effort, and it is easy to get discouraged or sidetracked along the way. However, by thinking like someone who leaves the legacy they want, you can stay on track and take action steps towards your goals. Procrastination is a common challenge for many people, but by committing to taking the next winning action step, you can overcome this obstacle.
There are facades and blockages that can come up along the way, and they are especially challenging for high achievers. For example, fear can cause us to stay busy instead of taking risks. Identifying and reckoning with these facades is crucial to achieving success.
To achieve success, you need an empowered way of viewing the world and yourself. Mindframes are a powerful tool for achieving this. They are different from mindsets, as mindframes are the bicep curl and mindsets are the bicep. By employing empowering mind frames, you gradually shift your mindset towards a more positive and productive way of thinking. Trusting the process, even when it feels annoying, is necessary for achieving success.
Understanding the etymology of legacy as being an ambassador is crucial to achieving your goals. It helps to demystify the concept and provides a foundation for understanding your purpose and legacy. Ongoing effort and commitment are necessary for achieving success, as is identifying and reckoning with blockages and facades. Mindframes are a powerful tool for empowering yourself and achieving success.
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Why Keeping Loops Open is Important
When we hear something that challenges our beliefs or opinions, our brains often respond by seeking resolution. We want to quickly accept or reject the information presented to us, rather than sitting with it and considering it objectively. This urge to close loops is natural, but it can be counterproductive in many situations.
Instead of immediately closing loops, we can benefit from keeping them open. By sitting with information, considering different perspectives, and exploring our own beliefs and values, we can gain clarity and confidence in our decisions. This process can help us identify our goals and values, and make choices that align with them.
The challenge, of course, is to resist the urge to quickly close loops and instead keep them open. This means sitting with information, considering different perspectives, and catching ourselves when our brains try to protect us by rejecting new ideas. By accepting that we are the "they" and taking responsibility for our choices, we can gain clarity and confidence in our decisions and create the lives we truly want.
The Straw Man Argument
As we navigate through life, we often encounter people and ideas that we disagree with. It's easy to fall into the trap of blaming "them" for our problems and struggles. We might think that there is a group of people out there who are actively working against us.
However, the truth is often more complex than that. While there may be individuals or groups who oppose our beliefs or goals, we also have agency and power in our own lives. We can choose how we respond to challenges and setbacks, and we can take responsibility for our own actions and decisions.
Some marketers and coaches use a technique called the "straw man argument" to create a sense of opposition and rally people around a common enemy. They might say things like, "they don't want you to succeed," or "they are holding you back." But when we let these external factors dictate our thoughts and actions, we are giving away our power.
Embracing Your Power
Instead of blaming others for our problems, we need to take ownership of our lives and our choices. This can be scary and uncomfortable, as it requires us to face our fears and take action. But by embracing our power and staying open to new ideas and experiences, we can create the life that we truly want.
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Choosing to be an Ambassador of Growth Mindset
In today's society, it's easy to fall into the trap of negative self-talk and limiting beliefs. We're bombarded with messages that tell us we're not good enough, smart enough, or talented enough to achieve our dreams. It's easy to believe those messages and give up on ourselves.
But what if we chose to be ambassadors of a growth mindset instead? What if we shifted our perspective towards the horizon, and believed that we can achieve anything we set our minds to, no matter what obstacles we may face?
That is the choice that we have in this moment. We can choose to believe that we're not enough, or we can choose to believe that we're capable of achieving our goals and living a life of purpose and fulfillment.
The Ongoing Openness to Growth Mindset
Maintaining an ongoing openness to growth mindset is not just limited to the mindset mastery class, but it's what will always give you the biggest return on your time. By choosing to embrace a growth mindset, we become more resilient, more productive, and more confident in our abilities.
Imagine yourself 60 days from now, or 30 days from now. You've worked the conveyor belt and faced big challenges, but instead of giving up or believing that you're not enough, you've shifted your perspective towards the horizon. You're thinking longer term, and you have more poise and confidence in your abilities.
You know that winners only think about winning, and winning is a choice. You've chosen to embark on this work of embracing a growth mindset, and as a result, you're feeling more productive, clear, and confident. It feels pretty damn good, doesn't it?
Being an Ambassador of Growth Mindset
At the end of the day, we're all ambassadors of something. We can choose to be ambassadors of negative self-talk and limiting beliefs, or we can choose to be ambassadors of growth mindset.
By embracing a growth mindset and believing in ourselves, we become role models for others. We inspire others to believe in themselves and achieve their goals, no matter what obstacles they may face.
So let's choose to be ambassadors of growth mindset. Let's choose to believe that we're capable of achieving our dreams and living a life of purpose and fulfillment. And let's invite others to participate fully and be attentive in this journey of growth and self-discovery.
Thank you for being here and being a part of this mission, I appreciate you immensely. Onward, and of course, upward. Love you guys!
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