Worthiness is a complex topic that encompasses so many areas of our lives. However, for today's post, we will be focusing on one specific aspect of worthiness that is particularly relevant to ambitious and high-achieving individuals - our contribution. As individuals who strive to excel in our respective fields, we tend to discredit or silence our voices for various reasons, which can be limiting and disempowering.
In this post, we will dive into the reasons why we do this and provide actionable steps to stop discrediting our contribution, feel more worthy, and ultimately be ready to achieve our goals. This is not a mere reading of tips and tricks, but rather a heartfelt discussion on how to overcome our inner obstacles and reach our full potential.
So, if you're ready to break free from the self-limiting beliefs and embrace your worthiness, then let's get started!
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Why We Always Feel Like We're Not Ready: Understanding the Narrative in Our Heads
Have you ever felt like you're not ready to do something? Have you ever thought that you'll be ready when something happens or when you accomplish a certain goal? If you have, you're not alone. Most of us have experienced this feeling of not being ready for something, and it often leads us to discount our potential contributions.
In this article, we'll explore the reasons why we feel like we're not ready and how we can overcome this feeling. We'll also discuss the importance of understanding the narrative in our heads and creating conscious awareness of the irony that we often don't realize how ready we are until we start doing the thing.
Understanding the Why Doesn't Always Matter
Before we delve into the reasons why we feel like we're not ready, it's essential to address a meta principle. Understanding the why doesn't always matter because we can instead decide to start doing the thing anyway. However, understanding the why can be helpful in gaining clarity and catching the narrative in our heads so we can begin to tell ourselves a different story.
The Contexts Where We Seek Readiness
We're trained to seek readiness in certain contexts, such as in school or at a job. We take tests, earn credits, or work for a certain number of years to get promoted. We're told we're ready to ascend to the next level or receive a diploma. But in many other situations in life, such as writing a book or launching a premium offering, nobody is going to come down on high and tell us that we're ready. This disconnect often leads us to feel like we're not ready, and we don't know what we need to be ready.
If you're one of those people who think, "I'm not ready to blank," ask yourself, "What do I need to be ready?" If you have a specific answer, go get that thing. For example, if you need to be certified in something before you feel comfortable offering premium coaching services, get the certification. If you need to hit a revenue tier before you feel ready to write a book on the subject, figure out everything you need to do to hit that revenue tier.
The irony is that for most things, you can just wake up one day and decide to do the thing. You won't realize how ready you are until you start doing it. You won't know that you're ready to start sharing content or leading people until you start doing it. When you start doing the thing, you'll start to get a positive feedback loop, which will reinforce the feeling of readiness. This creates a different narrative, which reinforces your actions and behavior.
Feeling like we're not ready can hold us back from achieving our potential. Understanding the narrative in our heads and creating conscious awareness of the irony can help us overcome this feeling. Remember, the why doesn't always matter, and you can just wake up one day and decide to do the thing.
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Understanding the Diffusion of Innovation Curve
The diffusion of innovation curve, also known as the diffusion of technology, product, or adoption curve, is a widely recognized model used to describe the adoption and spread of new innovations. This curve has several distinct stages, including innovators, early adopters, early majority, late majority, and laggards. Each stage represents a different group of people who adopt new innovations at different times.
In this context, it's important to understand that the name of the curve doesn't matter as much as the concept it represents. If you're reading this, it's likely because you want to innovate in some way, and you're seeking approval from those who are later on the curve. However, it's essential to recognize that their consensus, validation, and enrollment come last.
As an innovator, it's common to seek consensus from those who may be late majority or laggards in adoption. Still, their consensus will not come until later in the process. If you're waiting for approval from these individuals, you're shooting yourself in the foot and discrediting your contribution before you even start.
It's also common to feel not ready or worthy to contribute because you think that other people have more experience or are more vocal on the topic. But remember that your family's consensus and validation will come last since they understand you to be a certain way. As an innovator, it's crucial to understand that consensus, especially from the masses, comes last, and you should stop seeking it before you start creating.
In certain contexts of life, you may be a late adopter, and that's okay. Remember the example of the camera phone, where many people thought it was a dumb idea, and yet it became a significant innovation. So don't let the fear of being a late adopter stop you from innovating and creating. Understanding the diffusion of innovation curve and where you are in it can help you overcome the feelings of unworthiness and help you realize that your contribution is essential.
How to Overcome the Feeling of Not Knowing Enough
Have you ever felt like you don't know enough to do something? That feeling of self-doubt can be debilitating and prevent you from taking action. However, the truth is that it's impossible to know everything, and waiting until you feel like you know enough may be an endless pursuit. The only way to truly learn is by doing.
Reflecting on when you will know enough is a narrative that can hold you back from achieving your goals. There is no magical switch that will suddenly make you feel like you know enough. If you have a specific answer to that question, then do what it takes to get there. However, the irony is that the only way to start feeling like you know enough is by taking action.
Negative feedback loops and positive feedback loops also play a role in this scenario. Negative feedback loops are self-defeating patterns that reinforce negative beliefs and behaviors, such as the belief that you don't know enough. On the other hand, positive feedback loops are self-reinforcing patterns that build upon positive beliefs and behaviors, such as taking action and learning.
Sometimes, we need a wake-up call to break the automation of our negative narratives. It could be as simple as someone telling us to "shut the f*** up" and take action. We need to shed the feelings of not being ready and go do something that's not original. Even if the material is common and has been heard before, it will be unique because only we will synthesize the information through our unique perspective, reasons, and purpose.
We all have unique blends and ingredients in the recipe of our lives that make us who we are. Our perspectives, reasons, and purpose are unique, powerful, and divine. It's like a fingerprint - nobody else wants what we want for the same reasons, and to have the same outcome that we want.
The key is to stop asking, "Why me?" and start taking action towards our goals. We need to embrace our uniqueness and use it as a driving force to create and lead. When we take action and learn from our experiences, we will begin to feel like we know enough. The feeling of self-doubt will start to dissipate, and we will gain confidence in our abilities. So, shut the f*** up and go do something that's uniquely beautiful.
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Why me? I don't know enough yet. Other people are louder than me. Other people have more experience.
Have you ever had these thoughts running through your head? It's natural to feel like you're not enough, especially when you compare yourself to others. But let me tell you something: you are unique, and that's what makes you valuable.
When it comes to pursuing your goals, it's important to understand why you're doing it. What motivates you? What drives you? It's not about credentials or experience or how loud you can be. It's about what you care about and what you want to achieve.
So, make a list of why you want to do what you're doing. Keep it alive, access it whenever you need it, and don't forget the reasons behind your pursuit. When you care about something, you're more likely to get up faster after a knockdown. Don't let the fear of not knowing enough or not being loud enough stop you from pursuing what you want.
Prioritizing uniqueness is important, but it's not everything. Ask yourself whether you want to be unique or useful. Sometimes being redundant and consistent in what you have to say can make a bigger impact than trying to be unique. It's not about breaking the mold, but rather about being effective and achieving your goals.
So, stop telling yourself the unique story and move on. Embrace your uniqueness, but also focus on being useful and achieving what you want. Don't let comparison or imposter syndrome hold you back from pursuing your dreams. You got this!
Understanding Your Ironic Ego: Overcoming Fear of Rejection, Being Ignored or Being Wrong
Do you often hold back from speaking up or putting yourself out there because of the fear of rejection, being ignored or being wrong? You're not alone. Many of us experience this feeling of unworthiness, discrediting our contributions and holding ourselves back due to our ego's protective mechanisms.
We have an ironic ego that tries to protect us from the blow of being rejected, ignored or wrong, but it's holding us back from stepping up with confidence and making our mark in the marketplace. This negative feedback loop only keeps our ego the same size and prevents us from growing.
However, the reality is that rejection and being ignored are inevitable. If you're an innovator, you'll undoubtedly encounter people who reject your ideas, and that's okay. Rejection is not something to be afraid of anymore. It's a requirement to prove that you're innovating, creating and sharing what you want to.
Being ignored is also a fact of life, and it's okay too. Every response is valuable information, and you can use it to modify and iterate your ideas. If you never put out your ideas, you'll never get that valuable feedback.
It's important to note that feeling ignored doesn't necessarily mean that you are ignored. There are many people who absorb your content and ideas without interacting with it. Consistency is key to building your audience, and it's through your consistency that people will start interacting with you.
It's also essential to realize that you're not limited to just one opportunity. Don't make the mistake of offering something only once and assuming that nobody is interested. You may need to offer it multiple times, and of those who see it, only a few may be a good fit.
Don't let your ironic ego hold you back. Embrace rejection, being ignored and being wrong as a natural part of growth and development. Use the feedback to modify and iterate your ideas, and don't limit yourself to just one opportunity. Keep moving forward with consistency and determination, and you'll start seeing the results you want.
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Prioritizing Being Useful Over Being Right: Why It Matters
We have been trained to believe that we must always find the right answer to prove ourselves worthy. This approach suggests that we must repeat this process continuously to achieve validation. But the real world is not always black and white, and there are several practical scenarios where the right answers may not work.
Therefore, we need to prioritize being useful over being right. We must learn to be helpful rather than constantly seeking validation. It takes time and practice to be accustomed to this mindset, but it is freeing and allows us to contribute without fear of being wrong.
However, being right can become a part of our ego, which can hold us back from making useful contributions. Our ego can cause us to fear being rejected and ignore the true nature of our thoughts. We must question ourselves regularly and ask if our ego is in the way of being useful.
Imposter syndrome is another issue that can arise when our ego takes over. We may feel like frauds, even when we are not. But we must maintain our integrity and not discredit our contributions to avoid falling into this trap.
Feeling unworthy is another challenge that we may face. We may feel like we are just one of the eight billion people in the world, insignificant, and unworthy of contributing. We may also have failed before, hurt others, or been cautioned against pursuing our dreams. However, the most unlikely thing in life is life itself, and being alive is a rare occurrence. We must embrace our unique opportunities and strive to make a difference in our lives and those around us.
In conclusion, prioritizing being useful over being right is crucial in making a difference in the world. We must question our ego, overcome imposter syndrome, and embrace our uniqueness to achieve our full potential. Let us strive to make the most of our lives and leave a positive impact on the world.
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