Have you ever tried listening to music while working or brainstorming to enhance your productivity? I was just playing Hons Keyboard Suite in D Minor and it got me thinking about a potential productivity hack that I want to share with you. As someone who's into peak performance and curious about getting into a meditative state, I've experimented with different types of music while working and have found that Baroque music can be one of the best genres to help me get into that Alpha brainwave state, commonly known as flow. If you're looking for a way to boost your productivity, you might want to give it a try. Additionally, looping one song can help you get into that trance-like state more effectively than switching between different songs.
Now, let's shift our focus to the topic of confidence. The definition of confidence is trust in your ability to complete a task, but it's not the same thing as self-esteem. Self-esteem is more about how you feel about yourself. In this post, we'll be discussing tactical ways to boost your confidence and empower yourself in all areas of life. So, let's get started!
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Why Self-Trust and Self-Esteem are Crucial for Confidence
As mentioned earlier, confidence is defined as the trust in one's ability to complete a task. It is closely related to self-trust and self-esteem, which are crucial factors that contribute to our level of confidence. When our self-esteem improves, we tend to feel more confident in our abilities, and as our self-trust increases, our self-esteem may also improve. This interconnection emphasizes the importance of focusing on both self-esteem and self-trust when building confidence.
However, it is essential to identify the root cause of why we may lack confidence in certain areas. It could be due to a lack of trust in our abilities to complete a task, which could stem from broken commitments to ourselves or unrealistic expectations. The "fake it till you make it" mentality, often touted as a solution to confidence issues, is not sustainable, as it does not address the underlying lack of self-trust and self-esteem.
Instead, a more effective approach is to "do it until you do it." By taking action towards our goals and making commitments to ourselves that we can realistically achieve, we gradually build self-trust, which in turn increases our confidence. It is crucial to remember that building confidence is a continual, never-ending process of becoming.
Another common mistake is putting other people's needs before our own, which can lead to a lack of self-trust and self-esteem. It is important to prioritize our own needs and take action towards our goals, as this can help build our confidence and self-esteem.
Putting Other People's Needs Before Your Own: A Confidence Killer
Confidence is crucial for success in all areas of life. However, one factor that may be impeding your confidence is the tendency to prioritize other people's needs before your own all the time. This behavior can lead to feelings of being a doormat, which in turn, can harm your self-esteem and confidence levels.
Children are often happy when they see their parents happy, and they may try to make their parents happy. However, if parents are constantly putting other people's needs before their own and sacrificing their happiness for others, it can send the wrong message. It is essential to understand that we are responsible for our happiness and not our children.
Putting others' needs before your own can become a habit, making it challenging to put yourself first. However, as humans, our primary motivation is to maintain comfort, security, and familiarity, even if it is not in our best interest. Therefore, it is crucial to break this cycle and move towards a new level of comfort by starting to prioritize your needs.
To build confidence, start with small achievable tasks and keep your commitments to yourself. Every time you complete a task, it's like depositing coins into your confidence piggy bank. You will start to build trust in yourself, and with time, you'll find that you can try anything.
It's time to start being your own squeaky wheel and focus on your needs to gain more confidence. Confidence is not something that just comes to you; you need to work towards it by building trust in yourself. You'll be amazed by what you can achieve once you become more confident. So, what do you want that confidence for? Start moving towards your goals and become more confident.
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Adapting to Change: Meeting the Highest Version of Yourself
Life is full of choices, and we are presented with a fork in the road at every moment. Sometimes these choices can be terrifying, as there are a gazillion different directions we could take. However, this also means that we have the power to choose, and this can be wildly empowering. We can ask ourselves what our highest self would do in a given situation. What would the version of us who is already confident do? Would they take that 20-minute walk they committed to doing every day, or would they skip a day feeling a little tired?
When we know deep down that taking the walk would give us more energy, it is ironic that we convince ourselves to stay in our comfort zones. Instead, we should start to convince ourselves to meet the version of ourselves who is waiting on the other side of the boundary. Another reason we may struggle with confidence is because we look back at times when we tried something and it didn't quite work out. We fixate on that negative outcome and it hurts our confidence, making us reluctant to try again.
Confidence is trust in our ability to complete a task, and if we don't try again, we are not completing the task again. To fix this, we need to value, record, and praise ourselves for doing the thing, regardless of the outcome. A process-oriented goal is more important than the outcome, and completing the task is a coin in the confidence piggy bank. The result does not matter, as a single data point is irrelevant. We have to keep completing the task to observe the trend.
Adapting to change is about meeting the highest version of ourselves. We must learn to value our effort and output and take pride in committing to doing the thing and completing it, even if the outcome is not what we expected. Confidence comes from trusting ourselves to complete a task, and we can build this trust by focusing on the process and completing the task, one step at a time.
Beating Your Best vs. Beating Your Worst
When it comes to measuring success, we often focus on beating our best. After all, best is a superlative term - it's hard to beat by definition. But what if we shifted our focus to beating our worst?
Beating your worst is an efficient and sustainable way to achieve success. By analyzing the months or periods that were your worst, whether it be revenue-wise or emotionally, you can identify the areas that need improvement.
To start, take a look at the past year and identify which months were your worst in terms of your important metrics. Ask yourself, what happened during those months? Why did they perform poorly?
Once you have identified the areas that need improvement, focus on making changes to beat your worst. This could be by implementing more efficient processes, increasing marketing efforts, or improving communication with clients or customers.
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Building Confidence and Sustainability
By focusing on beating your worst, you are setting up systems for the whole trend to continue to move upward. The changes you make will not only help you beat your worst, but they will also build confidence and sustainability in your business or personal life.
While beating your best may be a lofty goal, beating your worst is a more practical and sustainable approach to success. By putting effort, attention, energy, and focus on beating your worst, you can set yourself up for long-term growth and success.
A Commitment You Can Stick to on Your Worst Day
We all have good days and bad days. On good days, we wake up feeling energized, put on our favorite outfit, and feel good about ourselves. But on our worst days, we struggle to find the motivation to get out of bed. That's why it's important to decide on the commitments you'll stick to on your worst days in advance. When you're feeling down, it's hard to make good decisions, so it's best to decide ahead of time what you'll do.
One way to give yourself the care you need on your worst day is to challenge yourself just a little bit. Maybe you've already set up a plan for yourself that includes staying in bed, eating pizza, and scrolling social media for a day or two. That's fine, as long as you've already decided to do it and set a time limit. You can commit to giving yourself whatever hedonistic pleasure and suppression of pain you need to get through this difficult time, and then you're back to it.
Your self-care matters, so don't let anyone else make you feel guilty for putting yourself first. When you take care of yourself, you feel more confident and better able to handle whatever life throws at you. When you shower, groom yourself, and put on clothes that make you feel good, you boost your energy and feel more able to complete the task at hand. These small actions are micro-accomplishments that add up in the confidence piggy bank.
To turn your "shoulds" into "musts," it's important to make a commitment. A commitment is when a "should" becomes a "must." When our backs are against the wall, we do what we need to do. But when we're not in a crisis, it's easy to fall back into the "should" category. That's why it's important to flip these "shoulds" back into "musts" and make a commitment to ourselves.
If you fall off track, don't beat yourself up. Just get back on it the next day. The most important thing is to keep the commitments you've made to yourself. When you do that, you build confidence and self-respect, which will help you on your worst days. So decide today what commitments you'll make to yourself on your worst day, and stick to them.
Flipping Fear and Embracing Failure
When pursuing our goals and dreams, it's easy to get caught up in the idea of success and become attached to the outcome we desire. However, it's important to understand that failure is a part of the process and that we must learn to let go of singular data points and not become overly attached to a specific result.
Falling and making mistakes are all part of the learning process, just like when we were learning to walk or ride a bike. If we're not experiencing occasional failures or hearing the word "no," we're likely playing it too safe and not stretching ourselves enough.
Instead of being afraid of failure or rejection, we can choose to flip our thinking and embrace these outcomes. When we're not afraid of outlier outcomes, we open ourselves up to new areas of comfort and growth. We can even flip our fear of receiving hate or criticism, seeing it as a sign that we're reaching a wider audience and making an impact.
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Confidence Through Authenticity
One key to feeling confident in ourselves and our choices is to embrace our authentic selves. When we know what we like and are unapologetic about it, we naturally exude confidence. This could be as simple as wearing clothes we love or decorating our homes in a way that resonates with us.
However, it can take time to figure out what we truly like, especially when we're conditioned to follow trends or societal expectations. It's important to give ourselves the space and time to explore our proclivities and sensitivities and let them guide us towards what feels authentic.
When we make choices based on our true preferences, we build up a "confidence piggy bank" that can carry us through challenges and setbacks. Ultimately, the more we embrace our authentic selves and flip our fear of failure, the more confident and resilient we become.
Your Boundaries: Committing to Maintaining Them
Have you ever struggled with setting clear and defined boundaries? Maybe you put other people's needs before your own and end up feeling like a doormat. It can be challenging to feel confident in yourself when you don't have boundaries. However, becoming aware that it's time to start creating boundaries is the first step towards building a healthy relationship with yourself and others.
What Are Boundaries?
Boundaries are barriers that exist to protect your space, time, and energy. They don't need justification, and anyone who tries to make you justify them benefits from you not having boundaries. So how can you start setting boundaries for yourself?
Start small. Lay down your boundaries and commit to them. Communicate them clearly and trust yourself to complete the task of protecting your space, time, and energy. Remember that your boundaries don't need justification.
Filtering People into a Certain Place and Time
Do you often get asked by strangers or acquaintances to help them with something? Can you look at this for free? Can you do this thing for me? These requests can be overwhelming, but you have the power to say no. Look at the example of Sam Ovens, who stopped doing video testimonials but gave a text one instead. You can also offer a compromise by creating a system or commitment that benefits both parties.
When you help someone, it's important to make sure that it benefits you too. You can offer free help that benefits multiple people, such as an Ask Me Anything call or recorded website feedback. Remember, the right people will want you to benefit from helping them because it creates a virtuous system. Helping others should never deplete you or leave you feeling drained.
Committing to maintaining your boundaries is essential for building a healthy relationship with yourself and others. Start small, communicate your boundaries clearly, and filter people into a certain place and time. Don't be afraid to offer help, but make sure it benefits you too. Remember, your boundaries don't need justification, and the right people will want to benefit you too.
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The Power of Conscious Confidence Building
Building confidence is something that many of us want, but often struggle to achieve. We may feel like we are just waiting for confidence to magically appear, but the truth is that building confidence takes conscious effort and dedication. In this section, we will discuss the importance of consciously building confidence and give you some tools to help you on your journey.
One way to consciously build confidence is to use language that reinforces positive behaviors and actions. For example, you can start to tell yourself, "Hey, I did the thing. That's a coin in my confidence piggy bank." By doing this, you are acknowledging your achievements and taking conscious steps to grow your confidence.
It's important to consciously focus on growing your confidence because if you don't, you may miss opportunities to become more confident. By putting your attention on the positive things you are doing, you will start to see a trend of growth in your confidence levels.
Knowing Yourself and Owning Who You Are Not
Another important aspect of building confidence is knowing yourself and owning who you are not. It can be helpful to communicate to yourself and others what you are not, as this can help you to better understand who you are and what you stand for.
For example, if you acknowledge that you are not a jealous person, you can start to move into the other side of jealousy by looking for opportunities in the success of others and seeing that as motivation. This type of conscious thought can help you to shift your mindset and become more empowered and motivated.
Homework: Committing to Yourself
To build confidence, it's important to commit to yourself and have a plan for your worst days. Take some time to decide what you will commit to doing on your worst day, and design a plan for yourself. By having a plan in place, you can climb out of the dumps faster and feel proud of yourself for taking care of your needs.
Remember, you already have a 100% success rate at coping with everything that life has thrown at you thus far. By taking microsteps and following your commitments, you can grow your sense of trust in yourself and meet yourself on the other side of fear. Building confidence is a journey, but by taking conscious steps, you can become more confident and empowered.
In conclusion, building confidence is not an easy task. It requires dedication, commitment, and a willingness to take risks. However, it is a skill that can be learned and developed over time with the right mindset and tactics. By practicing self-awareness, setting achievable goals, pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, and celebrating your successes, you can become a more confident version of yourself.
And always remember, you have a 100% success rate at coping with everything that life has thrown at you so far. That alone is a reason to feel confident and proud of yourself. Trust in yourself and your abilities, and take those microsteps towards your goals. Your confident and successful self is waiting for you on the other side, so go ahead and take that leap. You can do it!
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